Brain is so fascinating. It has the ability to figure out patterns, even in situations and places you just don’t expect the patterns to reveal themselves. The resulting bemusement, intrigues me, always.
Over the time, and with so many lurid incidences happening to me, I somewhere had discovered a Philosophy. A kind of invisible hand, to which you are so thankful.
This is just like the ‘Black Swan‘ (events), first coined and explained by Nassim Nicholas Taleb . Highly improbable to predict, but beautiful and life changing when it happens. Of-course, the Black Swan events are very well known and talked about, but they are more content with the humanity as a whole. I see it happening in life, in different ways, shows up totally unexpectedly, and well, gives you a beautiful feeling. They also stay long with you. The learnings, the memories and the changes you see in you, just make you pinch yourself.
I do not claim that this feeling is special to me, these events are very much happening in everyone’s life, am sure of it. But, we only happen to talk about the individual experiences after these Black Swan events in life. We don’t talk about the whole pattern of such events happening in every part of our life. We always feel happy sharing this Black Swan with others. what’s it about and how it happened, but never realize that it governs the change in you. That’s how much amazing this feeling is, a Black Swan happening. So many times, I get myself engulfed in these patterns, coming unexpectedly through every instance of your life.
It has happened with me while traveling. I left home with a crude plan of where all to go, but there was a plan. At the end of it, as you looked back my 3500kms of journey, I realised that I totally went a Brownian path. There were places you went which were not even closely in your plan. But you loved it. And given a chance, you would’ve totally wanted it to happen the way it happened. You meet people, interesting one’s. There are people who have been traveling for as long as a year in India. They tell you stories. I happened to teach an Israeli how to sing “Tum hi ho” song. So many of these unexpected events happen, which you would just deny of even thinking to. No wonder! why everyone starts beaming when they talk about their Travel.
It has happened with my career choices as well. I always felt bewildered with even a thought of what I want to do in life. There’s so much I want to do in life, and it has just put me in those many random roles, which i enjoyed thoroughly. For instance, I had chosen something over civil engineering, while getting into college. My desire to not get into the bureaucracy and corruption, was very old and strong. I believed, Civil Engineering will make me more materialistic and money minded, far from creative. I didn’t have a jot of doubt in my mind for not choosing it. The Irony is, after college, the major part of my career had revolved around civil engineering. I faced all of my fears, which i once ran from. Your career take turns unexpectedly to amaze you. There are many more instances of such kinds. Like now in my life, I am feeling a Black Swan happening to me. Life had already taken a 180 degree turn. You always have those Black Swan’s showing up expressions, even if you are a little restless creature. I don’t regret a bit, for what career choices I have made for myself. I have learned, and that makes me who I am now.
Not surprisingly, it has happened with friends & acquaintances in my life. Invariably, when you have to decide whom to make your friend, you think of befriending people with more achievement than yours, more established ones, maybe a crush of yours. You want to add them to your life, you do it by Fb’ing, getting numbers, texts yadda yadda. For me, I have never been able to make friends with the people I wished to that way. Contrary to it, it has always been the person randomly sitting next to you, or the one who just stumbled upon; walking at an unexpected place and time. That is how I found the connect with people, who are my friends now. Seeing this pattern again, just makes me feels special that i could relate to it. The friends I have, I cherish to know them. I think they are much better than the ones I once thought of befriending. Even when I had made a friend among someone I wished to, it has not turned out to be a long lasting one. This phenomenon brings a beam in my eyes, when I see it happening.
Now for the special kinds (a partner kind, is just a subset to this), which I have in my life. Here, it was more of what I was expecting from the person and what I had finally made them. The first, and the only one, relationship I had in life, was a school crush. I always wanted that to happen, and it finally happened while in college. But eventually, turned out to be hell. Now I wish it should’ve not happened. More surprisingly, ahead in my life, its here where I have noticed my expectations ruining the whole game for me. This is how it happens with me; If I like someone, then I start wishing (you can’t control that) something to happen. But even with all the efforts and good intentions in place, this would just refuse to click and shatters like a trail of dominoes. Just like that. How much so ever hard i may try. But with a very few when it had actually worked out, it was the least I expected. The special kinds just show themselves from unimaginable places and situations. They become a celebrated part of your life. They come to never go. It need not be a partner all the time, their are other special kinds as well.
To be clear enough, between friends and special kinds, friends are in noway less or more than the special kinds. Its just that the friends have a explicit presence in your life, and special kinds are there subtly. Its possible that, you don’t talk or communicate much, with the special kinds, but you do it at the right time and at right place. Like, I have a “blog buddy”, happened totally unexpected.
Towards the end now, I have been lately thinking alot about these Black Swan events and situations happening to me. With time, i have tried really hard to defy these Black Swan’s, with whatever I have realized about them in past. But every-time, it just gets me in a more surprising or a deeper manner, which I would have never thought of happening. Amazes me. It bounces back even if you had let it go, from somewhere or the other. You are just left to smile at yourself that how could I did not see it coming, I was expecting something else.
A “pen friend” happened to me. I never saw it coming, not in my slightest of dreams.
A Black Swan, Indeed.
June 6, 2014